One of the reasons I even bought the Wii was to play Sonic the Hedgehog 4. The first of the three greatest gaming experiences of my life was Sonic related. It was on my 2nd birthday and prior that year, my parents went to Toys “R” Us with my older brother on his birthday and said “buy any item you want. No matter how costly it is, you can take one toy out of here”. He bought that day a rather simple Captain Planet figure toy, so they were able to do the same with me. But this day was different: the huge giraffe usually in midst of the name Toys “R” Us was replace by a huge Sonic… the huge sonic may be my memory playing tricks on me, but that day forward, I was hooked on video-gaming. I bought my Mega Drive (yes, the Mega Drive. It was England, so it was a Mega Drive. Genesis is a really stupid name) and a copy of Sonic the Hedgehog. The first one, back in 1991. For me, it was the first time I’ve ever heard of video-games, so it’s what introduced me to a life of video-games and virginity. Those were the day.
I’m not here to discuss the hits and misses of the Sonic industry. Really, I am not. Let’s focus on the games at hand. I won’t dabble on it for long, I’m going to say it out now: it’s a good game. With some major flaws.
To call it a new game would be a lie. The first zone, Splash Hill Zone, strongly resemble Sonic 1’s Green Hill Zone, the second one, Casino Street, resembles Sonic 2’s Casino Night Zone, the third one, Lost Labyrinth, is the worst level out of any Sonic so far, Labyrinth Zone, and although the last one, Mad Gear Zone, is similar in idea to Scrap Brain Zone from the first one, is not so similar to be looked with disdain. The boss of the first Zone is the boss from Green Hill Zone with some tweeks to it, the boss of third Zone starts as the boss from Labyrinth zone and then changes to the last boss of Sonic 1, the boss of the game is the same boss as Sonic the Hedgehog 2 and the bonus stages are an homage to the bonus stages from Sonic the Hedgehog 1, however, as much frustrating as they may be, they annoy me in different ways in a way that is impossible to know which one is more annoying.
The different things, I have to say, are really good. First of all, we have the homing attack, which I have to say is an addition I enjoy to the 2D Sonic games. We have two completely new bosses, although one doesn’t look that original to me, the boss of Mad Gear Zone is fun to beat. The world map (if you can call it that) is pretty cool, even though nonsensical, and gives a rather charming overview as if it was all connected. In the Casino Street stages you run by some cards that can give you coins and lives (it’s an extra life farm, I go in that zone with 3 and go out with so much as 39, it’s a 1200% profit) without the chance of losing anything, since although there is a Robotnik card (yes, it’s Robotnik. Ivo Robotnik. Not Eggman, Robotnik), it doesn’t do anything.
There are bad things though. They jammed in to the special stages a time limit, so you have to be quick. But as the players in general may already know, when you are quick, you’re open to do a lot of stupid shit. So, I haven’t been able to achieve all 7 Chaos Emeralds, because I hate these special stages as much as I hated the special stages on Sonic the Hedgehog 1. There are only four stages, but for the price it is ($10) it’s actually fair enough. The graphics are really strange: they sort of mixed the 2D with 3D, but not in a good way as Donkey Kong Country did on the SNES… and when you’re losing to an SNES game in the new ’10 decade, you’re pretty much screwed. The physics, although botchy at some times, didn’t bother me as it did with most sonic fans that purchased this game. I just found it strange that running is faster than the spin dash, since, well, the name indicates it is a dash.
So, overall… go get it. If you’re a sonic fan, it’s really a must have, even if just to bitch about. It’s not the greatest sonic ever, but it’s a best than some games with his name slapped on it, and honestly, although not great, that’s good enough for me.
So, down from here, you will see a bit of a ranting. Sorry if I’m rambling for too long, or if I offend someone.
Sega… darling… WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING? Why will there not be a Sonic the Hedgehog 4 Episode 2 on the Wii? Are you fucking retarded? If you had your own console, I would buy it. Since you don’t have one, stop doing stupid shit! You released Sonic Colors, Sonic Rush, Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games 1, 2 & 3, Sonic and Sega All Star Racing, Sega All Star Tennis, Billy Hatcher, Sonic Chronicles, Sonic and the Seven Rings, Sonic and the Black Knight, all Nintendo exclusive games, but when talking about your main series, YOUR MAIN SERIES, SONIC’S MAIN SERIES, you butt off? What’s the matter with you? Have you no heart? Don’t you know any decency? And what’s the excuse for that action? “We released the game for the Wii to appeal to a wider audience”… fuck you! That’s like saying “Well, since we already have many gamers hooked by the balls, we want to release the sequels only to those who have more money” and I thought you from Sega wasn’t that kind of guy! If I recall, you released Sonic 3 and Knuckles close to the release of Mega Drive’s successor, Sega Saturn, that was admittedly a sinking ship, but you guys did it anyway! Fuck that, you released Sonic 1 and Sonic 2 ON THE MASTER SYSTEM while releasing them ON THE MEGA DRIVE! YOU WERE A LOVE GIVING COMPANY! WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS? Okay, so one other excuse is that “we released the first episode on the wiiware, and second won’t fit in a wiiware, so, we won’t release it for the wii”… last time I checked, there was A DISK READER IN THE FUCKING WII. RELEASE THE FUCKER ON THE WII AS A DISK! You know, it’s kind of like a CARTRIDGE! You guys made the Sega CD, you have familiarity with CD, but now you are butting out? Release the fucker for the Nintendo Wii, you group of assholes. From now on, I won’t be buying anything from Sega until they release the crapper for the Nintendo Wii. And that’s saying something, since I love Sega. So, this is a request: just do the right thing already, so I can go on to getting Sega stuff… please… release it on the wii… this is a request from one of the many of your loyal fanbase… that survived those shitty games with Sonic on it… Sonic Labyrinth, that game was awful… Sonic the Fighters was just a bad idea… Sonic Chronicles I’m pretty sure is a drunk prank game… Sonic and the Seven Rings and the Black Knight are just a sick twisted bet… please… as one of those of your loyal fan base… release Sonic the Hedgehog 4 Episode 2 on the Wii. Have mercy on me. Have mercy on your childhood friends, Sega.